Tea is for Tingle.

I started cheating on November 17, 2009. I wasn't sure how it worked exactly, as I had never experienced anything like it. It only took one time for me to realize I was head over heels in love - and in way over my head. It's only gotten worse since then.

I am in love with David.

Davids Tea that is.

For my birthday this year I was given a beautiful glass teapot along with a selection of blooming tea's. Prior to this experience, I had always been a casual gal, sticking to what I knew - basic green tea, sometimes black, but never anything else. I knew as soon as I had my first Double Zen, I could never go back.

I had never had looseleaf before, let alone tea that surprises me with a beautiful garden. From my earlier posts [*cough* Dear Blazer...], I'm sure you've come to the assumption that I'm an indoor gal. I like flowers [as a gift, with a vase please], but a garden I have no interest in. This garden however, this garden I liked. This garden was worth my time and energy, one I could spend my money on. And I did.

After my first taste, I knew I needed more, but I wanted to be smart and responsible. It had to be worth it. I picked out a couple that definitely seemed affair-worthy. I bought Cream of Early Grey, since my previous relationship was with "plain" Earl Grey [upgrade!], Organic Sweet Dreams to sing me to sleep at night, and Creme Caramel Rooibos which promised to be "smooth, sweet, and creamy..." As if anything could top smooth, sweet, and creamy [in addition to being good for your insides], I bought Read My Lips. Read My Lips isn't just a chocolate tea. It's also not just a black tea infused with vanilla, chocolate bits, peppermint, and spicy black peppercorns. Read My Lips contains red candy kisses. Read My Lips promises to be better than dessert. Read My Lips claims to be more reliable than sex [u.p.g.r.a.d.e]. A little cheating has led me to a fancy, upgraded, sing me to sleep kinda place. A place filled with candy, spice, and everything nice. A little cheating led me to my soul mate: Rich, smooth, and more reliable than sex.

What has your tea done for you lately?

Unlike Tiger Woods, this affair only set me back about $50. Unlike Tiger Woods, each affair complemented the other, knowing their place and that there were others. Most importantly, unlike Tiger Woods - I couldn't wait to share my discoveries. It didn't take long for news to spread, and it only took a few words to convince my mom and two girlfriends to jump headfirst in to their affairs as well. It started with sharing juicy emails and texts about our latest indulgences, and then it progressed. It wasn't long before we were going together in search of something new, something to top last nights discovery.

And then, we found The Skinny.



Unlike our earlier trials, The Skinny didn't promise to bring us to celebrity-filled beaches and yachts in the south of France [Rooibos de Provence], couldn't committ to giving us a natural high that lasted all day [Jumpy Monkey], and under no circumstances would The Skinny give us Glitter and Gold, lighting up our world with sparkles and cinnamon. No, The Skinny promised to boost our metabolism and block fat absorption after a heavy meal.

The Skinny didn't taste as good as Forever Nuts, but The Skinny took away all the guilt.

After The Skinny, we felt amazing. After The Skinny we felt we could do it all over again - and we did - each time returning to The Skinny at the slightest tingle of guilt. And so the affair rages on, each day bringing new flavours, new textures, and new adventures. The best part? Whenever we feel guilty - The Skinny is there. Our tea may not do our laundry or file our nails - and Read My Lips may not be more reliable than sex [speak for yourself], but The Skinny allows us to enjoy all the sweet and spicy, smooth and creamy, rich, candy-laced encounters we have every morning, noon, and multiple times at night.


Again, what has your tea done for you lately?