Out of Office

This is my official 'out of office' automated reply...

I'm in Montreal for meetings.
When I have a spare minute to breathe...I won't be blogging, I'll be breathing.
See you next week blogettes.

Stay pretty. :)

MM: The Want List

First off: I know I bailed on Skincare Saturday - my apologies. I'd give you an excuse, but I don't have one.
Would it make you feel better to know that last night for the first time in about two years I slept with my makeup on? I know, I'm ashamed and all day I could hear my pores struggling for air. I tried to compensate with a quick mud pack masque but there was no justice served. Tomorrow night - painful facemask with 100% cider vinegar, no excuses.

Today for MM I thought I'd switch it up; instead of telling you what I own and how I use it, I'm going to go over a couple of my latest cosmetic lemmings. I always have at least a couple items on the brain, only after thorough research do they go on my official want list ... here are the lucky one's for March.

1. Make Up Forever HD Microfinish Blush: On a scale of 1 to 10, the purchase priority for one of these babies is around a twelve with the only reason as to why I don't own at least one, is because I haven't been able to find them in Canada yet. f*ck. I love cream blush - not only does it have better staying power, but the colour payoff always tends to be a little more natural. Similar to NARS, MUFE has gone the semi-dirty route to naming their shades - my current list includes Nip Slip, One Too Many, In The Spotlight, Starstruck, and PDA.

2. Sue Devitt Eye Intensifier Pencil: By far, my favourite eyeliner - I own this in Surat and Laos and both are beautiful. These pencils are thick, creamy, smudge beautifully, and last all day - isn't that all a girl could ask for? Sick. I've decided that Chiang-Mia will be the next colour to add to my collection - a soft charcoal/black that would work both with a smokey eye and a neutral everyday look when smudged into my lashline.

3. MAC Viva Glam GaGa Lipstick: Every year MAC comes out with a new celebrity-inspired shade of lipstick, always under the Viva Glam name - with all proceeds going to the MAC AIDS fund. Cyndi Lauper and Lady GaGa are the latest inspirations for colour and the GaGa shade is to die for. While Cyndi's coral shade is beautiful, the GaGa shade is the most gorgeous cool-toned pink I've ever seen. I could see this working on all skin tones as it can be layered for intensity. I've gone to MAC twice for this and both times it's been sold out. Third time's a charm?

4. Benefit Cosmetics Confessions of a Concealaholic: this is one of the few items on my list that I don't want to want. I'm always on the fence with Benefit products (except their Definer Liner, clear lip liner for any shade of lipstick or gloss, no feathering or fading...WIN). The benefit of this puppy is in it's convenience. You'd be surprised to know that I dont' normally carry any makeup around with me - it'd take too much time packing and repacking a travel makeup bag to fit whatever look I'm going for, so I skip it all together. These days, however, I'm finding I'm looking tired and strained and carrying a concealer would be a good idea. Knowing I use multiple types of concealer makes it a pain in the a** to pack them all, so I figured this kit is a great way to have a variety of quick fixes readily available without having to transfer it from purse to bathroom and vice versa.

5. Giorgio Armani Nude Contrasts Palette for Eyes:  So, so, so pretty. I've had a couple GA eyeshadows and they wear quite well, good payoff and never OTT. Only thing holding me back is my distaste for purchasing eyeshadows. I'm not a huge shadow fan and I prefer to add dimension to my eyes with liner or mascara, so adding more shadows to my collection isn't too appealing to me right now... why did I even include this? Backspace.

Sadly this list could go on forever, and after reviewing 2454 beauty photos from various Fall/Winter 2010 Fashion Week shows - my list has quadrupled, along with my list of dermatologic procedures. Hottest trends on the runway? Flawless skin, strong brows, precise liner, and coral lips. I do recall mentioning the importance of good brows very recently - and you thought I pulled all this sh*t out of my a**.

Love you all,

xxLM

The W.

Sales meetings usually fall mid week or take up an entire five day work week, ensuring a weekend to decompress soon after getting home. I had a sales meeting Monday and Tuesday of this week; needless to say, I'm turned around and believing the weekend is a lot closer than it really is. I have selected meetings next week and then in Montreal for a full week after that - why don't adults get March Break?

If you enjoy my Wednesday ramblers, consider yourself lucky I even remembered about it this week.
And next.
And the one after that.

The Photo

The Scene... a generally unremarkable day, blah weather and not too much noise coming from the street. The day has been a lot more productive than I thought it would be; I'm emotionally and physically lazy but managed to ace an exam, organize all of my appointments, schedule team meetings, start my prework for Montreal, and get my car in to be fixed. None of this has done anything for my physical laziness, but that's what 7:30pm ballet boot camp is for.

The Song... is Aha! by Imogen Heap. I couldn't decide between this one and Sleep, but Aha! is newer and pretty different from her usual stuff.

The Advice... "sometimes you have to let go of who you were, in order to become who you want to be" - Carrie Bradshaw

The Entertainment ... has plummeted since the Olympics are over. I miss the Olympics and not only the outpouring of Canadian spirit, but the strong sense of unity that fell over our Country for those two weeks. I hope spring comes soon, because the next burst of excitement in the Toronto air will come as a result of patio season. Toronto has three seasons: patio-with-jacket-and-heater season, patio season, and Winter.

The Inappropriate...way to compliment someone is undoubtedly the backhanded version. I hate backhanded compliments and generally see right through them. I understand that a lot of the time people aren't aware of what they are implying, but I know a few people who are very aware of the underlying meaning in their comments. Not sure what constitutes a backhanded compliment? Take my all-time favourite [and no offense to the individual who said this to me] - I was told one day that I should be a model [right] and my response was a very blunt "I'm not pretty enough to be a model." The response to the response? "Oh no, models these days are really ugly."

The Obsession... this week is comfort. Ever go through a period where all of your work or going out clothes seem so uncomfortable? Nothing seems to fit right, materials seem itchy, and you have a general feeling of insecurity in the clothes that once made you feel great. I've felt like this for at least a week and have not taken any enjoyment [for once] in getting ready to go to work or go out. This feeling differs from the "I have nothing to wear" feeling, and leans more toward "did it always fit like this?" Needless to say, my love affair with my sweats and dance clothes has taken over. Have plans with me this week? Hope you like Uggs.

The Frustration...is trying to narrow down my frustrations to write this paragraph. I've written, backspaced, written, backspaced, written, and backspaced this paragraph over the past twenty minutes, with each paragraph being written about a different topic. Just like the religion post last week, there is a tough balance between wanting to share your thoughts honestly, and wanting to preserve everyone's feelings. The only thing I can say about this weeks frustration is that I'm frustrated :)

The Shoutout... is to a fellow Disneylander and her sister who I've had the pleasure of seeing over the past week, and will have the pleasure of annoying for five whole days very soon. You two are so pretty, so funny, and so smart - I would have never enjoyed a meeting, let alone my job, as much as I do without you both. I hope you rest up for the next couple weeks, you never know if they'll make you put your face down there.

 Enjoy your evenings,

xxLM

PS - to all you ladies, check TryThis.BuyThat very soon for a very personal review of my new obsession. Dad, that one aint for you.

On Religion...

Disclaimer: these views are strictly my own and have nothing to do with that of my family, my friends, or my upbringing.


I am extremely uncomfortable in churches. I feel very out of place and very visible, as if everyone there knows I'm not a "regular" and is silently judging me. I grew up going to church every Sunday with my family, but I always had to leave halfway through to go to gym practice, so eventually we just stopped going. Now, my time spent in churches is either for weddings or funerals, and even at those times I find it hard to listen to the service without feeling a mixture of curiosity, frustration, and insecurity.


I'm not sure if I believe there is a higher power, but I believe strongly that I live my life for me, and according to my own rules. That being said, I respect all of you that live your life for God, and attribute all of the things in your life to His workings; however, for me, that is too far fetched. 


As I've grown up I've learned to take responsibility for my actions and mistakes, and I've been proud of the things that I have in my life, because I accomplished them myself and with the help of my family and friends. I do not believe that God has a specific plan for my life, because I believe that if I want something, I have to work to get it; I can't just sit around and wait for a higher power to put a career, a family, or flawless skin into my lap.


For me to live my life according to something or someone else, I have to believe that it is 100% genuine, realistic, and accurate; furthermore, to live my life according to a Bible of some sort, there would have to be only one, and it wouldn't be subject to interpretation. How can one live their life according to words written way before our time, or a book that has so many versions that even Apple has trouble keeping up. 


I cannot pinpoint the be-all-end-all reason as to why I live my life in the "absence" of religion, but part of it has to do with the fact that I find it to be completely subjective. When I was in gymnastics, before each meet we would pray [which, for the record, I think is somewhat inappropriate considering not everyone is of the same beliefs]. At the end of the meet, if we won, it was all due to God; however, if we lost, it was our fault. According to me, if you're going to believe that a higher power is to credit for all the good in your life, then the higher power should also be credited for all of the disappointments in your life, it cannot be one or the other. If we won because of a higher power, then all of those times we lost would also be due to that higher power - maybe He didn't like us that day, or maybe the other team prayed harder, there is always a maybe. If we lost because we fell, then all those times we won would be because we performed well. Or was there no faith that we could perform well without a higher power? 


My brother was born without a left ventricle, which is a crucial part of the heart. Multiple surgeries and ten years later [on Christmas day], he had a stroke. He had a pacemaker put in and struggled to regain movement on the ride side of his body. Seven years later, he passed. He was seventeen. Did God sit and lay out this plan for him, attacking his body time and time again, letting him take one step forward and then pulling him ten steps back? How about the people that do everything "right" - they go to church, they pray, they believe, yet at the same time they have affairs, they lie, and they are not always kind to others. If I believed that everything was due to a higher power, I would have to believe that this power created rapists and murderers, animal abusers and con artists; furthermore, the excuse of a higher power forcing these people to do these things would stand up in court, and everyone would walk free.


This is a tricky subject and I'm sure this will upset some of you, but everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and this blog is meant to share mine with you. In my world, I believe that we make our own choices; some end in success and some end in failure, but at the end of the day the only person we have to be able to live with is ourselves, because we cannot misinterpret our own words. 


Although it seems otherwise, I do have faith and I do believe: I believe in my family and friends and I believe in myself. I have faith that I will continue to grow as a person and learn from others, and I believe that I will conquer my hyperpigmentation from too many years of tanning. The reason I have faith and I believe, is because I'm going to make it happen [well Hyaluronic acid is going to make the latter happen, but I'm the one carefully applying it].




What you believe in, what gives you faith and enables you to take comfort in the situations you are put in is entirely up to you, as long as you believe in yourself.

The It List for Wednesday

Of all the things I write, the intro to these Wednesday posts always has me stumped and I'm not sure why. Maybe because I'm impatient and want to get to the goods, or I find I always have something negative to say about the current Wednesday [but not on April 13th, the long-awaited return of Glee!]. So this Wednesdays intro will include something positive, like the fact that I've completed one huge study binder, or that I'm going to try an at-home multi-acid microdermabrasion on my face tonight. Let's hope the latter doesn't turn into a negative Thursday intro.



The Photo: 

The Scene... is the same as it's been for three days now: sitting in my favourite green chair, binder in lap, reprints on the table just waiting to be read, highlighted and memorized by Monday. You can bet your a** they will be too.

The Song ... is Rise by Azure Ray, it's old yes, but if you like Imogen Heap, check out some of her stuff.

The Advice... is that a dance floor is unforgiving. See exhibit A above.

The Entertainment ... hands down, was Sunday night's hockey game. I couldn't breathe after the US tied it with 20 seconds to go. Myself and my BFF were drinking white wine at the time, and decided that maybe we should open a bottle of red wine and have a glass of that too, just to keep everything red and white. Ten minutes later, Canada wins. Coincidence? Think not. Drinking always pays off.

The Inappropriate... way to work out at the gym. This section could take three whole blog posts to complete so I'll keep it short - talking on your cell phone at any point during your work out is ridiculous. I don't get it, if you're going to the gym to walk on a treadmill, socialize, and talk on your cellphone - why are you paying $100/month when you could just as easily bother people walking down the street. I'm going to blame all of you people that do this on why I don't go to the gym anymore, well you guys and those of you who look like you've been attacked by the sleeve monster and need to rehydrate with a 2L jug of water. Ick.

The Obsession...of the week is how much better I feel since I've drastically cut down on eating meat [haha, i'm giggling]. For a good couple of weeks now I have basically been eating only fruit, vegetables, candy, and whole grains and it's been excellent. I don't really know how to say this any other way than to state that I have no problem eating animals, and I really like the taste of meat [giggles]; however, I think I'm going to test out this vegetarian thing that so many of you have going on. Unless I can't eat fish,  because I can't live without fish and chips, you all know that. Does fish count as meat? If you are a vegetarian which I know at least one of you is, please fill me in. Merci

The Frustration...is figuring out how to write a blog on my view of religion without offending any of you. Religion is such an interesting topic to me and as with most things, I'm sure I see things much differently than some of the people who read this blog; however, I find that when people disagree on the topic of religion, they tend to take it personally and I'd really like to avoid that. I'm going to post it tomorrow, and we'll see how many facebook friends I lose by Friday.

The Shoutout...is to a nice little lady who is always there for me no matter what, who started exfoliating and washing her makeup off on a daily basis, and is enjoying the world of matte nails with me. I have no idea where I'd be without you and am so grateful to have you in my life. I'd call you and tell you this, but you know I hate voicemail, so this is me leaving you "a really good message."

So there you go, with the Olympics now over I can focus all my attention on Shemar Moore, and may even have time to pick up some tattoo concealer for my knees; the last thing I need is to give all of my favourite guys and dolls that I work with the reason to ask me why I've been spending so much time on my knees.

You guys are sick.

xxLM

Wed.Nes.Day

Holy sh*t it's Wednesday already?
This week is speeding by, where have I been?


The Photo

The Scene... it's gloomy here and my condo is cold. My condo also seems messy, which it isn't, it never is. Maybe I've been watching too much hoarders?


The Song...the K.D Lang version of Hallelujah, way better than JTs.


The Advice...wash your face with cold water, it closes your pores and refreshes your skin


The Entertainment... this week was definitely devil-kitty. Devil kitty enjoys hiding behind walls and lashing out at you while you pass by, or running so fast up and down the hall causing my condo to sound like the Kentucky derby.


The Inappropriate...way to get attention, and that's through your Facebook status. Vaguebooking drives me crazy. Not sure what vaguebooking is? Vaguebooking involves a status update somewhere along the lines of "Laura wishes it was easier" or "Laura knew it was bad news" and so on, the status update that doesn't quite tell all, but warrants a "what's wrong?" or another pity comment. I get that we all have personal drama, but if you are looking to your 1,997 Facebook friends to lift you up, you're looking in the wrong place. This may be cold, but I don't log on to facebook to make sure you had a good day or to see if you're back in that relationship that you weren't in yesterday but were in the day before. I log on to facebook to stalk you.


The Obsession...is coconut oil. Coconut oil isn't only for cooking, it's amazing for your skin and your hair. I've been putting coconut oil in my hair the night before I plan to wash it (maybe once every 3 days) and I practice my french braiding skills. Leave it in overnight, shower in the morning as usual and when I blowdry my hair I'm left with super soft, super shiny hair - apparently coconut oil is one of the few oils that actually penetrates deep into the shaft [wait what?] of the hair [oh, ok] instead of sitting on top like other oil treatments. I've also been using it as an eye makeup remover (awesome) and on my skin where I have any little irritated patches. I've used it just after I shower all over my body as a moisturizer and my skin glows all day - it's honestly amazing. This is such a great alternative to expensive hairmasks and it works better IMO. You can buy coconut oil at health food stores - you want to look for organic virgin coconut oil, and it comes in solid form. Coconut oil melts very easily at around 24-26 degrees, so taking a small chunk and rubbing it in between your hands creates a nice silky formula that glides on to your skin or your hair, never leaving a greasy residue, or causing you to smell like a pina colada.


The Frustration...is with my coordination. One of the things I wanted to do this year was take dance lessons and I believe it was listed as my obsession a couple Wednesdays ago. I've always, always loved contemporary dance and am now in love with the classes I take. Problem is, 18 years of gymnastics is doing me a disservice. You should see the girls float across the room so delicately, their jumps so pretty - and then there's yours truly, coming down the diagonal like a horse [Kentucky derby]. Gymnastics is very different from dance, besides the fact that I can only do the moves on my right leg [these girls look perfect no matter what leg they leap off of], but I am so heavy on my feet that graceful is the last word you'd use to describe me. I can do the moves, but I can do the gymnastics version of them and it's not so pretty. I'm a coordinated person, but I can't believe how challenging it is for me to adapt my body not only to a hardwood floor, but to a softer, longer, more delicate individual. I don't want to do it my own way just to do it, I want to look like a dancer, not a gymnast [which I've gotten many times]. PS, I also have horrible turnout. Contemporary dance FAIL.


The Shoutout...is to a beautiful young lady moving out west tomorrow, to start a new chapter of life with a wonderful man and a much larger cell phone bill. You will be missed!!


Well, that is it, that is all - c'est finit.

xxLM

To Do [it] or Not To Do [it]?

I wrote a guest post a while ago for Mommy Brain [surprised? read on] and with what seems like a million preggo girls out there, it seemed fitting for today. Enjoy. Xx

When I first started my job we had to attend training sessions in Montreal. This was my first big girl job and I tend to be quiet and shy around people I don't know - I try to feel them out to see if my sense of humor will be understood, otherwise I will keep my thoughts to myself. I was lucky enough to meet a very beautiful, intelligent, and motivated young girl that was just as sarcastic as I was - my first words to her were "do you speak English?" and her response: "Oh God Yes, Finally!" WIN.

Needless to say, three years later we are still friends. Even living across the country, we kept in touch: we both got married around the same time, both felt the same way about our jobs, and both wanted to take the plunge and go blonde. Even though she is no longer working for the same company, we still stalk each others facebook profiles on a regular basis. The only difference? My page is still littered with funny pictures, makeup status updates, and politically incorrect videos. Her page is decorated with pictures of her beautiful, adorable, pinch-her-cheeks cute baby girl. Suddenly, I feel ashamed of my videos and my status updates proclaiming my love for NARS Gipsy lipstick [cool toned gals looking to try out a red lip?... this shade is money]. Why I feel this way I'm not sure. Minus the bigger boobs, this girl is still the same beautiful, intelligent, and very funny girl I met three years ago. I read her blog daily, not just because I love her, but because I am still in limbo with myself over the decision of whether or not I want kids someday. Half the time I read her blog and decide yes, absolutely. The other half, I have to log off due to impeding panic attacks. FAIL

Do I want kids? Can I raise a child?

There is no rush for me obviously, but I feel that I'm at the age where I should at least know the answer to this question. The only thing I know, besides the fact that babysitting terrifies me, is that I am 100% undecided. I love babies. I love to hold them, play with them, and dress them in cute fuzzy sleepers. I like to watch them sleep, watch them bite their fingers, and watch the bond with their mother develop. When I see a baby crying for mom, I want that. I think I could do a fantastic job with a baby [I know, easier said that done, I've read the blogs remember?], I also think that I am responsible and mature enough to have a baby. A baby seems exciting to me, and every time I am around a baby, I want one. Where the decision takes a turn is after baby.

Babies turn in to children.

Children become teenagers.

Teenagers become... me.

This may seem crazy, but I continually have to remind myself that babies last forever. They don't go away, and I can't swap them for the MAC Hue lipstick I am currently coveting. Knowing that eventually this baby will be one of the high school kids with a facebook page full of high school drama is very hard for me to get over. I do not want a teenager. That may be harsh, but it's the truth.

Like I mentioned earlier, I read Mommy Brain every day and frankly, it seems like a lot of fun. Even though there are panic moments [first night in the crib, loved it] and general frustrations with feeding and sleeping, all of those seem to fade away as soon as the baby smiles. I laugh at the mommy brain mondays and I get nervous when I hear about crib recalls, but underneath all those emotions, I can't shake the thought that this would never be me. I simply can't picture myself as a mom. Is it that high school kids annoy me, or is it because I am missing the mom gene?

To all you moms - could you picture yourself with a child (not baby) before you got pregnant?

I have been wanting to write about this for a while, but I was hesitant because I don't want to offend anyone. The last thing I want is to have someone calling Child Services when they find out I am pregnant some day. I know that I am not ready for a baby. I know that I do not want a baby today, tomorrow, or this year. But I also know that when I am older, I want to have what my parents and I have. I want to have the relationship that my mother and I have [ps, we bought more tea today, thanks Steve]. I want to have family vacations and holidays spent playing euchre, chase the ace, and rumoli - losing big money and laughing so hard we cry. I want to be able to drink with my kids [Child Services] and learn from them. I also hope my daughter dresses me, makes sure I never buy mom jeans, and picks out a nice nursing home for me when its time. So I guess I do want kids someday. Or to have a baby, give it away when it's time for school, and have it come back with a career and a bottle of McManis. Wait, is that what boarding school is?

Again, I stress that I know I am not ready for a baby. The only thing I know, is that I was lucky that my parents were ready. I am lucky that I had parents who gave me the childhood that I had [minus the haircuts, shame on you], and I am so lucky that my parents taught me to be respectful, kind, and humble. I still think that I would be great with a baby, but my skills would stop there. I don't know if I will ever be ready to influence a life and shape a child into a responsible adult, so to all you moms out there, congratulations, you are amazing. And to the creater of Mommy Brain, you are amazing, intelligent, pretty and funny, and I miss you very much.